It's no secret that I have had a huge
love affair with the second generation BMW 3 series for years. My first
one, bought sight-unseen from a shirtless man with a mullet, planted the seed
of old BMW obsession. The E30 (as that
generation is more commonly referred to) was offered in the American market
from 1984 to 1992. It's small, perfectly balanced, predictable, and has
excellent visibility. It has a power deficit, by modern standards, requires a
talented driver to exploit its other assets to out-drive the hordes of mediocre
drivers fumbling along.
The M3 version of the E30 (the first
M3) amplifies everything good about the regular E30 to the next level. It was
born from homologation requirements that forced BMW to produce a certain number of
street legal cars to race in the European Touring Car Championships. The result
was literally a street legal version of BMW's racecar. Even though it looks
identical from a far, almost every body panel is different and each serves a
purpose. The fender flares accommodate larger brakes, wheels, and revised
suspension geometry. The front splitter and sealed body gaps aid the suspension
with more down force. Rear down force is accomplished by a little bump on the
rear of the roof that creates a low-pressure area over the shallow raked rear
window to channel air over the raised trunk lid into the rear wing. The high-strung,
four cylinder S14 engine reduced front-end heft for a near perfect 50/50 weight
balance. As a result the E30 M3 was immediately successful and dominated many
forms of racing, contributing to a pedigree that has followed BMW Motorsport
GmbH ever since.
Last month when my buddy Eric called
and asked if I wanted to co-drive an E30 M3 he recently purchased across
country my answer was an immediate "F' yeah!" Eric's new beast was
not just any E30 M3. It was an early 1988 example in Henna Red with a swapped
Euro-spec S50B32 six-cylinder engine. In the U.S., Henna red was offered only in
the first few months of M3 production. At the time the market wasn't receptive
to the orange-red hue, but styles have since changed. The limited production
combined with modern trends has made Henna one of the rarest and most desirable
M3 colors. The 321 horsepower S50B32 engine was used in the European version of
the second generation M3 (1993-1999) and was never offered in the U.S. Mechanically,
it’s a predecessor of the S54B32 engine that is arguably the greatest normally
aspirated six-cylinder motorsport engine BMW has produced. The one in Eric's
car has a CSL style carbon fiber air intake manifold that is designed to feed
cold air directly to each cylinder's individual throttle body.
Back in the Touring Car Racing days
BMW would make small changes to the E30 M3 to improve power, grip, or down
force. Each change (called Sport
Evolutions or Evo's) was required by homologation to also be made to the street
cars. Eric's car has a few of these rare upgrades, notably an Evo II front
spoiler and an Evo III rear spoiler with a carbon fiber adjustable gurney flap.
An Eisenmann race exhaust, Ground Control Coil-Over suspension, Z3 linear
steering rack, short shift kit, Massive 6 piston front and 4 piston rear
brakes, Recaro SR3 seats, and a Momo Champion steering wheel complete the
package to make Eric's car a highly capable E30 M3.
After being thwarted by several East
Coast "polar vortex" blizzards we found a weather window to do the
drive in early March. It had snowed the day before shutting down most of the
Mid-Atlantic region, but it was a dusting compared to the Colorado storms we
are used to, so we laughed and continued with the plan. Eric picked me at 8:00
pm at Dulles International Airport. The pick up area was a ghost town due to
the storm. I walked out of the terminal and there it was, idling in a deep
baritone. The bright streetlights and concrete backdrop made the Henna color
pop. With no TSA in sight we took our time admiring the machine and taking
pictures. Our immediate plan was to get out of the police state of Virginia,
where radar detectors are illegal and traffic fines are significantly higher
than the rest of the country. We made cautious, but good time through the Blue
Ridge Mountains, stopping about 30 miles short of the Tennessee border.
My first impression driving the car
was on par with other E30 M3's I have driven. It's just a little bit better
than a regular E30 in every way, but there is something else - something
intangible. It's almost as if you can feel all of the little bits working to
produce a sum greater than their parts. The M specific suspension articulating
under flared fenders, the complimentary front and rear aerodynamics, and the
incessant tweaking and tuning done by engineers of a past generation seeking
perfection. Perhaps the feeling is a sense of purpose. Modern M GmbH street cars
are highly capable, but their GT racing cousins are far removed from anything
you can buy at a dealer. The E30 M3 was different; it was built with a purpose
that modern M cars lack. Maybe I'm just nuts, but I felt it. Purists be dammed,
this feeling was only heightened by the alterations to Eric's car. The smooth
revving six cylinders of Euro S50 breathing through the carbon air box and a
rather loud free flow exhaust imparted a sense of immediacy. The slightest
caress of the throttle was met with an exacting response. There was no lack of
low-end torque suffered by the stock S14 engine, yet it was still purely
mechanical. There was no S54 throttle-by-wire delay either, just a continuous link
between thoughts, feet, revs, and exhaust note. The coil-over suspension compensated
perfectly for the increased weight of the big engine up front and the Z3
steering rack (the single best mod to any E30) put the car exactly where you
wanted it to go. In a word, it was telepathic, like an E30 M3 should be.
We woke up after a brief sleep and
pressed on for the real treat of our trip, the great driving roads of Southern
Appalachia. Just across the Tennessee border we veered south off Interstate 81
towards Asheville, North Carolina. From there we headed west on two-lane roads
meandering through the rolling hills of the Great Smokey Mountains. The
time-aged features of the oldest mountain range in America were clearly visible
through the blanket of barren, leafless trees. The homogenized world of the
interstate system gave way to unique small towns in various states of economic
health. We stopped a few times at good photo locations, lured in by the
character of disintegrating structures slowly being consumed by vegetation. As
the miles wore on, the turns tightened, the smiles grew, and the M3
increasingly delighted both passenger and driver (we switched at every fuel
stop).
Entering 2-Lane Roads
Small Town Landscape
Photo Shoot!
At Santeetlah Lake we followed the Little Tennessee River North towards
the Tennessee border. Looking out the window, suddenly the blur of trees gave
way to a daunting concrete form. I had seen it before, but it took a minute to
place it. The dark, weathered concrete looked like that from the Rock Eater in
The Never Ending Story (Google it Millennials), but it wasn't because Rock
Eaters aren't real and they certainly don't live in North Carolina. Nope, it
was the Cheoah Dam, the one that Harrison Ford's stunt man jumped off of in the
movie The Fugitive (Millennials better Google that too). We thought about
stopping, but the road was just too good. We pressed on to the peak of our
driving journey - The Tail of the Dragon.
The Cheoah Dam
(from The Fugitive)
The Tail of the Dragon, known locally
as the Dragon, is the name of the road that traverses a mountain pass called
Deals Gap on the North Carolina / Tennessee border. It supposedly has 318 turns
in 11 miles. I didn't count, but I would believe it. The Dragon gained
fame as a popular driving and motorcycle road in the 1990's. Before driving it,
we stopped at small motorcycle resort and restaurant on the North Carolina
side. In the parking lot there was a "tree of shame" which had the
wreckage of a thousand motorcycle crashes strewn along its trunk and branches.
The late winter sunlight cut a pale and ominous hue through the thick
forest onto the shiny buts of metal. A close examination revealed shattered
mirrors, cracked helmets, dented gas tanks, and what looked like the remnants
of plastic big wheel with a motor. We were not dismayed. The gruesome wreckage
did little to undermine our steadfast confidence in our collective driving
ability and our machine. Eric has over 300 laps on the Nürburgring (mostly in
E30's) and I can finesse an E30 at blinding speeds over the snowiest of
Colorado's deadliest mountain passes on bald summer tires with questionable
brakes. Bring it on Dragon!
The Tail of the Dragon
The Tree of Shame
(the wreckage of 1000 motorcycle crashes)
This was a motorized big-wheel!
Friendly Local
What did undermine my shield of armor
was a rather greasy chicken sandwich and French fries. Don't get me wrong, the
hospitality and food at Deals Gap Motorcycle Resort was great, but two-days
worth of road trip food had culminated in what I would politely describe as
digestive insecurity. As we mounted cameras and prepared to face the Dragon I
couldn't help but feel a terrible sense of impending doom brewing deep in my
gut. We fired the up the M3 and it settled into a deep clinical rumble. I had
been warned earlier of a heavy police presence on the Dragon, but the lady
behind the counter assured us it was the off season and if we did encounter the
"PO-lice" we'd probably be alright as long as we respected the double
yellow line. Tires still warm, cameras rolling, and burping up chicken
sandwiches we rolled past a giant steel sculpture of its namesake to slay the
Dragon.
The next three hundred and eighteen
turns were a dizzying blur of tire shredding, exhaust shrieking, Euro S50
screaming sensory overload. Eric handily sliced and carved the heavily
cambered, comically tight turns of Deals Gap with skill clearly honed on The
Ring. The road had an almost cartoonish quality defined by undulating hills and
seemingly unnecessary circular arcs. If Willie Wonka were to draw a road for
his Chocolate Factory, it would be The Dragon. Some turns were so tight that
sighting through them required looking back over one's shoulder. I did my best
to lodge myself in the narrow Recaro seat, while holding the camera steady and
suppressing the chicken sandwich increasingly trying to free itself from the
bonds of my gut. We emerged from The Dragon in what surely was a record setting
time, which is odd, because for the purposes of this writing we never exceeded
31 miles per hour. Crazy how that works!
North of the Dragon the road straightened out and paralleled the
Little Tennessee River where the sun had transformed from harsh and hollow to a
brilliant golden hour hue. Eric pulled over and handed the keys to me.
The Henna M3 was glowing in the warm sunlight quietly ticking itself cool. It
was begging to have one more go at The Dragon. In a completely unexpected move,
I turned it down. At the moment I needed fresh air and a nap more than I needed
to slay The Dragon. I would certainly regret not taking the opportunity to
drive such an iconic car on one of the best roads in America - but maybe I
wouldn't. Maybe it was best to be satisfied with experience of watching Eric
get to enjoy his new ride. We'd had a successful run -- maybe we shouldn't be
greedy. Every living thing in three counties was now awake from the Eisenmann
race exhaust reverberating at redline through the valleys. Rather than drive
while fighting a war on two fronts, one against my gut and one fending off any
recently alerted fuzz, perhaps it was best we kick back, take some pictures,
and enjoy the sunset. That's exactly what we did.
The Little Tennessee River
Panorama Collage
Drive By Video
(click to play)
Back on the Highway
(with a new Jaguar F-Type)
Tennessee Valley Authority Electricity
As night fell we got back to the
business of expeditiously traversing the Southern U.S. Darkness engulfed
us and the weather began to deteriorate. At the next fuel stop we
repaired shoddily mounted headlights. A broken driver's side low beam adjuster was
repaired with a Reese’s Pieces box and electrical tape. It lasted the duration
of the trip. We connected inoperative high beams with Walmart bullet connectors
between the incompatible Euro and U.S. wiring plugs. Having
functioning lights was a good thing, because the weather was turning. A
thick layer of fog had blanketed Western Tennessee, dropping visibility to
hundreds of feet. I used my instrument flying skills to see through the fog -
as if that is actually possible.
Headlight Adjuster Repair
High Beam Wiring
Into the Night
When we crossed the Mississippi River
into Arkansas we drove into the carnage remaining from a severe snowstorm a few
nights earlier. The medians were littered with capsized trucks, stranded
vehicles, and considerable snow banks. The M3 was wearing heavily worn (dare I
say semi-slick) Dunlop extreme performance summer tires. The resulting loss of
grip on the cold snowy road surface was significant, but the E30 chassis was so
composed it was easy to keep the drifting in check.
At midnight we stopped for dinner at
the only open restaurant in sight, Waffle House. Rooming would be
more difficult. Unfortunately, all the hotels were in crisis mode from the
storm. When we tried to get a room the desk clerk said there was no vacancy and
that people were sleeping in the lobby. I looked over at a family tucked away
in the corner just in time for them to wave at me. We pondered our options.
Option one, join them (might not have been so bad), option two, press on in the
snowy darkness. We chose the latter. One hundred and twenty miles later
we found a room on the other side of Little Rock. It was a hell of a
day. Sleep came quickly.
Delirium
Premier Parking (at 2:00 am)
When we woke up on Thursday we had
one day left to get home and a little less than half of the total distance to
go. Road trip delirium time warped the long flat miles across Arkansas and
Oklahoma into a convenient blur. In Oklahoma City we met up with Eric's friends
Louis and Rachael at an eclectic Mexican joint called Big Truck Tacos. After
dinner we stood in the parking lot and coveted the Henna lines of the M3. Eric
took the opportunity to remove a dog leash we had discovered supporting the
exhaust. "Who does that!?" he exclaimed. As the sun sank
low into the horizon we headed north for the final push across Kansas into
Colorado fueled by a healthy dose of caffeine and taco-induced methane.
The darkness of night spared us of
the monotonous Western Kansas plains. Instead, the tunnel vision glimpse of 300
feet of illuminated road ahead gave us a sense of heroic progress. The moon had
been blackened out by the clouds of an approaching snowstorm that we were now
racing to Colorado. Any tread left on our semi-slick tires was long gone.
Negotiating snow with slicks would be a real threat compared to the night
before. In fact, it was worse than just a lack of tread. Excessive negative
rear camber had worn through the first layer of cord on the inside of the rear
tires. Nursing the M3 home before we literally blew out the rear tires would
require slowing down slightly, but that put us closer to the arrival time of
the snowstorm. It required steady discipline to slow down while staring the
storm in the face. In typical fashion we made it just in time, pulling into the
employee lot at Denver International Airport at 2:00am. After an
obligatory shot with my E30, I headed north and Eric headed south. As we parted
ways I paused at a traffic light to watch the Henna beauty disappear into the
darkness.
Excessive Camber Wear
Obligatory Shot with My E30
After 2200 miles and 72 hours of driving Eric's new steed was home
safe. We had dodged blizzards, evaded the fuzz, slayed the dragon, and
experienced a large variety of American roads in the car that quite literally
defined the Ultimate Driving Machine. The E30 M3 was a car born of racing
homologation requirements in a time when the BMW Motorsports badge had a
meaning and purpose beyond horsepower and fancy bits of kit. Don't get me
wrong, modern M cars are fantastic feats of engineering, power, and efficiency,
but the broadening of the M brand into SUV's, grand coupes, and M Sport lines
for every model have diluted the pedigree of the M badge. As a result, the price of E30 M3's has been skyrocketing on an almost
hourly scale. Eric caught the reasonably priced E30 M3 ship just as it was
leaving port, literally jumping the gangway. Driving it across country is an
experience I will never forget.
5 comments:
Respect your elders..........Word
ERSTAUNLICH!?!
Great story, thanks for sharing!
Barry
fk me
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